Love…what exactly is that? Is it that forever burning fire we feel when we first meet? Is it that deep feeling of trust that remains, should the initial fire burn down a bit? Is it possible to keep that flame burning? How do friends become lovers? Thousands of questions that never bothered me before, but became a real issue all of the sudden.
Let me introduce myself: My name is Cici and they call me The Whispering Witch. I am a creator, a fabricator, a wire wrapper, an Award-winning singer/songwriter, a recording artist, an author, a professional teacher for various subjects, and an animal rescuer. I got my name for my ability to communicate with all animals. I am a God-fearing woman with a Wicca lifestyle but also studying the Hecatean way and how it all connects to the Universum. You could also say, I am a Christian Witch. (That goes against the grain of many). My belief is that regardless of which higher power we believe in, we need to realize, that it is all the same theoretically. If you read anything about religion and beliefs, as well as Christian Science or studied it, a few lights would turn on, but unfortunately this is a subject many are scared of or too closed-minded to discuss. Believing in any positive higher power is great, regardless of religious backgrounds. One should never judge anyway about the beliefs of others, but unfortunately that is something in human nature, that will never change. I, for one, will not allow anyone to judge me but one, and that is the big Manitou in the sky. It is actually written, that it is not our place to judge period, but unfortunately, most, that run to worship their God on a Sunday will run their mouths 5 minutes after the service is over, and forget all about the word of God.
So this was a little larger self-introduction, but I want you to know where I am coming from, and that these are things that go completely against my grain.
Yes, I am blunt and will speak my mind, but I will not hide my believes or my love.
I was content in my married life, I thought and stayed in a rut for 15 years without realizing that the fire left long ago, and it just turned into a mechanical existing type of life without feelings and feeling alive. I was suffering without knowing it, dying on the inside without realizing it and had so much love to give, that it was killing me because there was nothing and no one to direct it to. Oh sure, I had my rescued animals and they became more by the week. I thought they would replace what I was missing and to an extent, they did. I love them all and they love me, but something was still missing. There was this emptiness I could not fill regardless of what I did. I withdrew more and more and just spent my time recording when I felt like it, writing, paying attention to my animals, and of course, working because the bills still had to be paid.
Don’t get me wrong, my husband is not a bad person, but we are from two different worlds and were unevenly yolked with my world constantly clashing with his. I always laughed when I heard people say they are lonely even though they were in relationships and I never really understood until I was the one isolated in my own marriage.
So I kept suffering in silence until one day, my salary was late. Working in China and living in Thailand has its definite charms, but can also be very nerve-wracking. After all, I not only had to pay all bills but also had a husband to feed and 28 rescued animals that were depending on me with not only food but their whole existence. I had saved enough money to get over the initial rough edge and just tightened that belt, but then month two rolled around and again no salary. Why? Not because the company did not want to pay, but there was no way to move money out of China due to a trade war that affected over 3000 teachers all over the world. These were really tough times and it just added to my depression.
A very close witchy friend of mine started to post a call for help on Facebook and since I create jewelry among other things, she simply praised my shop and woke the interest of some fellow sisters and brothers of the craft. (I need to reach back a bit now).
Before you all knock this bunch of people, let me tell you this: Being a witch is not a religion, but a lifestyle. We are protectors, teachers, rescuers, Earth protectors, nature-loving, and respecting people, but also shadow and death-walkers because we help people, that have lost their way in darkness back into the light. In reality, think about this: What all did Jesus do? He fed 5000 people with just two fish, turned water into wine, raised the dead, made the blind see with a little bit of mud, healed leprosy, and so much more. The church calls it miracles; I call it magic. I had arguments with priests about this, and they could do nothing but shut their faces because we perform the same rituals in private as the church does to honor the highest divine of all.
What most people who knock witches do not realize is that they confuse witchery with sorcery and that in reality, there is no white or black magick, it is the meaning and intent that makes it good or evil. The Wiccan Rede states: “Harm Ye None And Do As Ye Will.” So by me not killing animals (I even set bugs outside that get lost in my house occasionally), I sure would not turn a human into a toad. People who believe that that is possible have very clearly watched too much Harry Potter and Charmed.
I belong to this really cool group of down to Earth sisters and brothers who share my faith, and there was a day when all the newbies were being greeted. I usually write a friendly welcome and go by my business, but there was one name that kind of stuck with me—not knowing why I went by my business and kept going back to his name. It was intriguing and had a beautiful ring to it: The Woodworking Witch.
Did I check his profile? Of course, I did, and what I found was a man smiling but hiding his pain behind this posed face, and I felt the unhappiness coming from him. Weird, I usually do not go around and check up on who is who, because I was stuck in my rut, not looking for anyone and had really no explanation for my actions. Maybe I needed to stop having my two cocktails in the evening because I clearly was acting strangely and could not explain for the life of me why. (I completely stopped drinking by now and will never return to it)
So my friend posted my shop with a plea of help on Facebook, which I found embarrassing, but was glad she did. I received some orders from my fellow sisters, and then I received a kind of sweet, but bashful mail, and it said he wanted to check up on me regularly….signed the woodworking witch. My heart jumped, and I had no clue why.
The mails came first about twice per week and then more regularly, and pretty soon, I found myself chatting with someone I had no clue of who he was. I also found myself looking forward to hearing from him, and it did not take long, and we were chatting for several hours a day getting to know each other as friends. Oh, I was in so much denial then already, because after all, I was not looking and neither was he, but we constantly looked for each other in the net.
Being in the position I was in, I realized, that my marriage existed on paper only for quite some time and while he was long chatting with old female friends, I had found a close friend that I learned to trust very slowly.
He was interested in some jewelry I made and ordered a bracelet, that I needed to make. I got right on it and it took me a couple of days, but I finished it. He asked me to pray on it and since the plan for the next day was to go to the Sanctuary Of Truth with my daughter, which is a temple in Thailand that has the entire evolution story of mankind and all religions carved in wood, I figured it is a good day to take the bracelet as well to lift him and the bracelet in prayer and present both to all deities in existence.
After taking a boat ride through all kinds of fish that seemed to follow us and even jumped up on us, we finally ended up at the temple. Oh, it was impressive. Made out of hand-carved wood only, it looked even better than on the internet, and a really calm feeling filled my soul. I have not felt like this in what seems forever, and I followed the path I had to walk. I was in awe at the beauty and the craftsmanship that was presented here and worked my way through every chamber to finally get to the prayer chamber where all Gods of all religions have their place. I fell on my knees in gratitude and prayed silently to give thanks for all I had and endured, even the bad things because I realized there are lessons to be learned and negative can be turned into positive. I have been praying for relief of my pain for many months and even thanked for the pain that I was going through. Then I pulled out the bracelet that I made for my woodworking witch and held it in my hands. I raised it up above my head with both hands and asked the deities and Gods, as well as all Goddesses present to bless this bracelet, fill it with love and protection as well as bless the man who will wear it.
At that moment, I felt what seemed like lightning going through me, and I lost all ground beneath my knees. I was floating and crossing the veil, and it scared the living hell out of me, but I kept concentrating, and after getting over the initial fear, I felt nothing but warmth and love in my heart. The feeling of having ground below me returned, and I slowly opened my eyes. No one seemed to have noticed or understood, nor seen what just had happened, and I started to get up. I wrapped the bracelet back up and looked for my daughter, who was already in the last chamber of the sanctuary. What I did not know is, when that happened to me, something happened to him at the same time.
I must have been really quiet because my daughter asked me what was wrong. All I could say is nothing really, but then again I do not know.
I told my woodworking witch in our next chat what I did and something between us changed right there. I can’t point my finger, but there was a new tone of voice in our writing and we seemed to be a lot closer than before.
Now, how do you fall in love with a person, you have never seen, nor know anything about? That is the weird part…we could read each other and connect on a different level, which I will simply call the higher realm. It takes years of practice to reach this level and here we were, meeting regularly now in our spiritual world. He came into my life like a tornado and turned my world upside down. I felt his presence as he felt mine and it was time to raise the level of communication, so we switched to facetime, first every few days, and then more regularly.
My husband and I had decided to get a divorce, so he was free to do what he wanted and me also.
Facetime between my woodworking witch and me happened daily, and we fell quickly and deeply in love with each other, realizing we do not want to be without the other ever again.
How will the story continue? I can tell you this: We are twin flames and soulmates, who found each other a bit later in life, but I am the Ying to his Yang and the female version of him, as he is the male version of me. It cannot get any better, and for the moment, we are 8000 miles apart, but this too shall pass. We meet in the realm, we talk in facetime and spend most of the day together, other than when he sleeps or when I sleep and with a twelve hours time difference, that is at different times. I am completely devoted to my woodworking witch with a very deep, hard to explain love, as he is to me. It is not for the world to understand, but for us and what Gods have put together, no man shall tear apart. We will be physically together soon and it will be for eternity.
I am in love with an angel, and one of God’s chosen ones, and I am grateful that I am the one allowed to love him. Namaste and Brightest Blessings from Thailand.
And how was your day?